Sports Movies

Issue: What do you think of the list compiled here?

Short Answer: I agree and disagree.

Reasoning: For any athlete (or former athlete) sports movies are usually a point of contention.  Some like certain movies for certain reasons, while others dislike the same movies for different reasons.  I have often considered myself a leading connoisseur of sports movies.  I have often thought about becoming a consultant for actors/directors/producers to help ensure the sports, in sports movies, are played, and portrayed the proper way.  Problem is, I don't live in Hollywood, would never want to, and, I have no idea how to get my foot in the door, or if anyone would listen to me anyway.  Maybe I will just keep writing.  Let me give you a prime example of what I am talking about, dealing with the movie Field of Dreams.

Field of Dreams is a good movie to watch.  It has a good story (although hardly believable), good actors, and good baseball scenes.  But, I would never consider the movie one of the best sports movies of all time.  Why?  Because, ladies and gents, Shoeless Joe Jackson, whom the story in the movie is built around (besides John Kinsella, Kevin Costner's movie father) was a left-handed hitter and right-handed thrower in real-life.  In the movie, somehow, someway, Joe Jackson is a right-handed hitter and left-handed thrower.  No movie with that egregious an error can ever make a list of best sports movies.  So, in the end, in order to be considered a great sports movie, it must have a great story, must be historically accurate, and it must have actors who can portray athletes.  The sports movies that suck are sports movies where the actors don't look like athletes (Major League 2 or Major League 3 anyone?).  The absolute most important thing to have in a sports movie is actors who look like they have actually played the sport.  Some good sports movies (that meet the criteria I mentioned, not an exhaustive list):

1. Hoosiers
2. The Natural
3. Friday Night Lights
4. Rocky I, II, III, IV
5. The Karate Kid (no joke)
6. White Men Can't Jump
7. Tin Cup (with the exception of David Sims, played by Don Johnson - bad, bad swing)
8. The Color of Money

Each movie has actors who actually looked like they have played the sport, plus a compelling storyline to go along with it, which makes them fantastic movies.

The link I provided at the beginning is a top-10 list of worst actors in sports movies, not the worst sports movies.  However, two of their top-3 are way off base.  Tim Robbins as Nuke LaLoosh in Bull Durham, in my opinion, is one of the greatest acting performances of all-time.  The herky-jerky pitching motion used by LaLoosh in the movie is all part of his character and charm.  It completely fits, and, I'm not sure the movie would be the same without it.  Also, Madonna as Mae Mordabito in A League of Their Own was, I thought, fantastic.  The article seems to have something personal against her, because it mentions how distraught she was on set.  Yet, in the movie, she plays a quite credible ball player, you know, for a girl.  The rest of the list I agree with, I think.  Most of those movies I haven't seen, or never would have considered them "sports" movies in the first place.

And now for my list.  Being a former baseball player, and with the plethora of baseball movies out there, I am often asked what my favorite baseball movie is.  Instead, I will give you a top-5, in order, with some memorable quotes (taken from the top of my head, so there may be small discrepancies):

1. Bull Durham
1. Nuke: "I held it like an egg."  Crash: "And he scrambled that son-of-a-bitch."
2. Crash: "Strike outs are boring, plus they're fascist.  Throw some more ground balls, it's more democratic."
3. Skip: "You lollygag around the infield, you lollygag your way down to first, you lollygag in and out of the dugout.  You know what that makes you?  Larry?"  Larry: "Lollygaggers."  Skip: "Lollygaggers."
2. Major League
1. Lou: "They say you're a pitcher.  You sure ain't much of a dresser.  We wear caps and sleeves at this level son."
2. Willie: "What league you been playing in?"  Ricky: "California penal."  Willie: "Never heard of it.  Well, how'd you end up there?"  Ricky: "Stole a car."
3. Lou: "Nice velocity."  Pepper: "Sounded like it."
4. Jake: "Hell of a situation we got here Rexy.  Two on two out you guys down by one.  You have a chance to be a hero on national TV, that is, if you don't blow it.  By the way, saw your wife at the [I have no idea what the name is] Lounge last night, helluva dancer.  And that guy she was with, I'm sure he's a close personal friend and all, but let me ask you this: what was he doing wearing her panties on his head? [Rexman swings and pops the ball up] Uh-oh Rexy, I don't think this one's got the distance!"
3. The Natural
1. Roy: "When I walk down the street, I want people to say: 'There goes Roy Hobbs, the greatest hitter that ever lived.'"
4. The Sandlot
1. Smalls: "Oh, I thought you said, the Great Bambi."  Ham: "That wimpy deer?!?!"
2. Ham: "You mix your weenies with your mama's toe jam!"  Little league kid: "You bob for apples for the toilet, and you like it!"  Ham: "Yeah, you play ball like a girl!"
3. Ham: "You know, if my dog were as ugly as you, I'd shave its butt and teach it to walk backwards."
5. A League of Their Own
1. Ira: "Do you think if I paid you more you could be a bit more disgusting?"  Jimmy: "I could certainly use the money."
2. Ira: "I especially liked the move in the 5th inning when you scratched your balls for an hour."  Jimmy: "Anything worth doing is worth doing right."
3. Walter: "Let me be blunt, are you still a fall-down drunk?"  Jimmy: "That is blunt.  No sir, I've quit drinking."  Walter: "You've seen the error of your ways?"  Jimmy: "No, I just can't afford it."

For the record, movie #6 would be Eight Men Out, which is a great recount of the 1919 Chicago Blacksox Scandal.  Oh, and they have Shoeless Joe hitting left-handed.  Tip of the cap to the producers of that movie for getting something so easy, correct.