Where I commonly write about sports, in an uncommon way.

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Rest in Peace, Randy "Macho Man" Savage

Issue: You are telling me he was still alive?

Short Answer: That's exactly what I'm saying.


Randy "Macho Man" Savage (Poffo) when he played minor league baseball in the Cincinnati Reds farm system.


Reasoning: I have been planning on writing my eulogy of Randy Savage since my brother sent me this article from the New York Times a week ago.  Imagine my chagrin today, as I visited ESPN.com for the first time in weeks, only to find that Bill Simmons had done the very same thing.  In his article, Simmons talks very specifically about Savage and some of the matches, interviews, and run-ins he had during his career.  See, Simmons was in high school and college when he was watching the WWF, so he remembers things like that.  When Randy Savage broke into the WWF in 1985, I was seven years old.  I remember "Macho Man" but I couldn't recount a single match he ever had.  But, I can damn near guarantee you that I watched every single one of them.  I remember Miss Elizabeth (his female manager) as one of my very first crushes in life, next to Linda Carter, who played Wonder Woman right around the same time in my life (and, I date myself - again).

The thing I do remember about "Macho Man" was the fact that he was an entertainer first and a wrestler second.  I remember enjoying (and laughing hilariously) at his interviews, but, like I said before, I remember very little about his actual time in the ring.  I remember his "Ooooooooohhhhhhh, yyyyyyeeeeeaaaaahhhhhhh!" way more than I remember his flying elbow finishing move.  I remember his partnership with Miss Elizabeth (and who doesn't?) way more than his partnership with Hulk Hogan.  Randy Savage entertained every second he was on the television screen, and I can't help but think the height of his popularity coincided with the height of the WWF's popularity.  I feel like it was he, who ushered in the era in professional wrestling, where being a phenomenal athlete wasn't quite enough.  Those athletes also had to act and entertain, since, in the end, that is what pro wrestling is all about - entertainment.  People who watch it know it is fake (although those guys get beat up more than any other athletes out there, save football players), so those who make their living off of it, better bring some believability to the table.  Randy Savage did that.

But, the thing I remembered most about Randy "Macho Man" Savage was how he, and all those other wrestlers (Junkyard Dog, Hillbilly Jim, "Mr. Wonderful' Paul Orndorff, Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat, The British Bulldogs, "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan, Hulk Hogan, Andre the Giant, Jake "The Snake" Roberts, etc.) gave my brothers and I something to love, something to do on Saturday mornings, and, something to fight about.  Although I don't remember Savage's matches, I do remember exactly where I was almost every Saturday morning for years - right in front a the little TV we had in the kitchen, watching "Mean" Gene Okerlund host the WWF, with my brothers by my side.  I also remember how my dad used to take the mini-versions of me and my brothers, one at a time, to do our Christmas shopping for each other.  Dad tells the story that, one Christmas (I imagine 1986.  Long time ago), each one of us got out of the van, walked into Toys'R'Us, and went straight to the aisle where the 6" toy plastic molded wrestlers were.  In taking three little kids shopping, he spent less than five minutes total in the store.  We had the mini-ring at home, so what better way to say Merry Christmas to my brothers than by "buying" them their favorite wrestlers - so I, and my wrestlers, could kick the crap out of them and their wrestlers.  And vice versa.  I remember the times when my brothers and I (and my dad, coincidentally) would gather around the TV to watch Wrestlemania - it was the first television program I can remember being excited to watch (maybe "Who's The Boss" as well - Alyssa Milano = hotness).  And Randy "Macho Man" Savage was at the center of it all.  Thanks Randy.  You and Miss Elizabeth (1960-2003) can entertain together, once again.

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