Short Answer: NASCAR - even though I don't think it is a sport at all.
Reasoning: Where to start? I'm not sure how driving ever became thought of as a sport. Last time I heard, at 16 years old, even if you're female, you are permitted to drive a motor vehicle. Every single person in the whole world is permitted to drive a car at some point. I once watched a special on TV about a man with no arms who could drive a car with his feet. A sport, it is not. However, with the speeds that stock cars go, it does narrow the field of people capable of driving, surviving, and winning an actual NASCAR race. Driving a car 200 miles per hour while all alone on a five-lane highway is impressive, but doing it surrounded by 40 other idiots on a track is uber-impressive. That still doesn't make it a sport. Plus, how is watching cars drive around in a circle a couple hundred times, fun? If anyone tells you they are at a race for any other reason than the wrecks or the beer, they are lying.
However, since the American people (and by "American" I mean people from West Virginia, Kentucky, Tennessee, Georgia, Alabama, Mississippi, and South Carolina, i.e., hillbillies) consider NASCAR a sport, I guess I can write about it here. Alright, I am not going to actually write about NASCAR because, well, I don't know crap about it, other than the fact that it is not really a sport. But, I did see something the other day, at a NASCAR event in Nashville, Tennessee (see, told ya), that you will never, ever see anywhere else. At every NASCAR race, there is an invocation. For those that don't know, an invocation is "the act of invokingorcallinguponadeity,spirit,etc.,foraid,protection,inspiration,or thelike."* And, at NASCAR races, the person giving the invocation usually asks for God's help in keeping the racers, pit crews, and fans safe from any harm during the race, since it is obviously dangerous (though it isn't a sport - did I say that already?). Pastor Joe Nelms gave the invocation at the race in Nashville last weekend, and, well, he had a different idea about his invocation. Instead of asking God for help, he decided he would give thanks to God, for some different things. Watch, and try not to laugh:
That is about the only time I have ever enjoyed NASCAR. Thanks Pastor Joe, for giving such a moving invocation, at a non-sporting event.
Issue: Wasn't that game last week? Where have you been?
Short Answer: Moving, which means I have been without cable or internet for a few days, which also means the All-Star Game is the last sporting event I have seen.
Reasoning: The MLB All-Star Game is nothing short of an enigma. After numerous players pull out of the game because they are "hurt" or "exhausted", you end up with people in the game that you have never heard of. In fact, if you don't make the All-Star Game anymore, than you stink. Look, Scott Rolen started at 3rd base for the National League. Enough said. He may not even be the best 3rd baseman in the Reds organization. But, after the tie years ago, good ol' Bud Selig wanted to make sure the All-Star Game count for something, which means players have to be replaced, even with players who aren't really All-Stars. On a side note, I still can't understand why this is the case. Were baseball fans really THAT upset an exhibition game in the middle of the season ended in a tie? Why would anyone, anywhere care at all? Now, that same exhibition game gives the winning side home field advantage in the World Series. Huh? I would love to watch a team go 162-0 one year, but their league lose the All-Star Game, and them not get home field advantage in the World Series. That's how dumb the idea was, and still is.
Anyway, I am here to give you odd stats about this year's game, not tell you how stupid Bud Selig is. Let the first odd stat be a video (this may be the most boring video ever posted here, but bear with me):
So what does a solo home run early in the All-Star Game have to do with anything? Funny you (or I) should ask. Adrian Gonzalez's home run in the 2011 All-Star Game was the first All-Star Game home run since this one:
That was 2008 ladies and gentlemen. The 2009 and 2010 All-Star Games had exactly zero home runs hit in them. Two other things make these videos odd: 1) J.D. Drew is long gone from baseball now...I think; and 2) Both calls were unfortunately made by Joe Buck and Tim McCarver, possibly the worst announcing crew of all time, which sucks for everyone. Sorry you had to listen to that.
The second odd stat deals with actual baseball stats. The winning pitcher in the 2011 All-Star Game was Tyler Clippard (I told you waaay too many players make the All-Star team...bonus points if you even know who he plays for...3...2...1...the Washington Nationals). What makes this strange is Clippard faced exactly one hitter in the entire game, Adrian Beltre, who singled to left field. I realize some of you are confused right now...how does a pitcher face one batter, a batter who reached safely, and that pitcher still get the win? Here's how: at this point in the game, the American League was winning 1-0 on the above Adrian Gonzalez home run. Tyler Clippard came into the game with runners on 1st and 2nd and 2 outs. He gave up the hit to Beltre, but Jose Bautista was thrown out at the plate by Hunter Pence to end the inning. In the very next half inning, Prince Fielder hit a 3-run homer for the National League, giving them a lead they would never relinquish. And, who was the pitcher of record for the National League when Fielder hit that home run...Tyler Clippard (since no one else had thrown a pitch for the National League yet). A guy you have never heard of gets the win in the All-Star Game and gives the National League home field advantage in the World Series. Man, I love this game.
Issue: Uh, dude, it's Wednesday...are you talking about this past weekend or this coming weekend?
Short Answer: Sorry, my days run together...this past weekend was phenomenal.
Reasoning: Sports is my life and always has been. I even love the sports I stink at. And, for all you ladies out there, sports is the best reality television available. There are no scripts (unless we are talking about boxing), no cuts, no second takes, and drama is always abound. "It ain't over 'til the fat lady sings," was coined by the great Yogi Berra, and, it applied in his day, applies in ours now, and will apply in the future as well. This weekend was full of happenings which demonstrate the greatness of sport and why I love them, all of them, so much. Let's take a look at what I'm talking about:
Steve Stricker is the man. Steve Stricker is an old man competing in a young man's game. Tiger Woods is aging, and we have seen his health deteriorate, his game deteriorate, and, yes, his marriage deteriorate (I couldn't resist). Yet, Stricker seems to be flourishing at a time when most men his age are trying to hold on for dear life. Stricker is 44 years old, which is not old by any means, but most of the guys he is competing against are in their 20's (re: Rory McIlroy, Dustin Johnson, Martin Kaymer, Charl Schwartzal, etc.). At last week's John Deere Classic, Stricker showed us again that age isn't anything but a number. Stricker entered Sunday's final round at -20, three shots clear of the field. Most everyone thought "steady" Steve would run away with the tourney. However, some bad play by him and a string of 5 birdies on 6 holes by Kyle Stanley had the two tied with four holes to play. Stricker then did exactly the opposite of what everyone thought he would do...bogey 15 and 16. Now two shots down with two to play, Stricker needed a miracle. He drained a 20-foot birdie on 17 to pull within one. Stanely bogied the 18th with a missed 10-footer, and the players were tied. However, Stricker had the most unfortunate of lies on his approach to the 18th green. Take a look at what he did:
No lay-up. No safe play. He attacked that shot with one goal in mind...winning the tournament. And he did. Kudos Steve, kudos. Oh, by the way, it was the third consecutive year he has won the John Deere Classic.
Mark Montgomery's unbelievable pitching line. (Thanks to my man Tim for finding this one) I've been around the game of baseball long enough to think I've seen everything. Yet, every single time I go to the park, I see something I have never seen before. That is what makes the game so fun to watch. And, along those lines, here is something I have never seen before, and will probably never see again: Mark Montgomery, RHP, 1 IP, 2H, 1 R, 1 ER, 0BB, 5 K, 2 WP. Let me explain for those of you who don't follow - Montgomery struck out 5 hitters in one inning!!! Two of them happened to reach on wild pitches (drop third strike rule), so either this dude has some unreal stuff, or Charleston needs to start looking for a new catcher. I am willing to bet this is the first occurrence of 5 strikeouts in one inning, ever, above the Little League level. Truly unbelievable.
The hapless San Diego Padres at it again. As a franchise, the Padres have NEVER thrown a no-hitter. They are obviously not easy, but you would think someone, sometime, would have thrown one, but, since the Padres usually stink, it's not that far-fetched. Saturday looked like the day Padre history would change (notice I said "looked"). Aaron Harang was making his first start off the disabled list on Sunday (thankfully it wasn't for the Reds this time, but the Padres). Usually when a pitcher comes off the DL a strict pitch count is enforced by the team. So, when Harang had thrown 95 pitches after the 6th inning, the Padres pulled him. What makes this a bit odd is the fact that Harang had not allowed a single hit in those six innings. Problem is, the Padres only managed one hit in those six innings, and the score was knotted at zero. Josh Spence, a left-handed reliever, replaced Harang in the 7th and he struck out Andre Ethier. Chad Qualls then replaced Spence. An error, a walk, a pop-out, and a ground out later, and the Padres had no-hit the Dodgers through seven. Mike Adams replaced Qualls at the beginning of the 8th inning. It was an eventful inning, but Adams made it through without giving up a hit. The Padres went in order in the top of the 9th, so the game went to the bottom of the 9th tied at zero, and there had been exactly ONE HIT in the entire game (by the Padres Cameron Maybin, if you were wondering). Luke Gregerson replaced Adams in the 9th and he struck out Matt Kemp and forced James Loney to ground out to 1st base. That's right, 8 2/3 innings of no-hit baseball...you know what's coming, don't you? Gregerson promptly gave up a double to Juan Uribe, and the no-hitter ended. But it gets better. The very next batter, Dioner Navarro, singled to center field, and the game was over. The Padres had been one out from their first ever franchise no-hitter, and they lost the game 1-0. From no-hitter to walk-off loss. Ouch.
Derek-freakin'-Jeter. If he weren't a Yankee, he would probably be my favorite player of all time. He plays the game right. He plays the game hard. He is a smart player, and you can tell just by watching him play the game. He is a first ballot Hall-of-Famer. And, he has a flair for the dramatic. Going into Saturday's game against the Tampa Bay Rays, Jeter needed 2 hits to reach the magical mark of 3,000. George Brett had already publicly said that 3,000 is the hardest hit to get because of the constant media attention. Jeter himself had admitted he was going up to the plate with the approach that he was swinging at everything, no matter what. Some people, I'm sure, were ready for Jeter to take quite a bit of time to reach the magical number. But, we are talking about Derek Jeter here. He singled in his first at-bat for his 2,999th career hit. Then, in the bottom of the 3rd, he did this (I put the Spanish version in here for two reasons: 1) it was the shortest version; 2) I love Spanish baseball announcers (hit numero tres mil!):
Just another tidbit for Derek Jeter's Hall-of-Fame plaque. Oh, by the way, the fact that he is the first player to ever do this as a Yankee (all 3,000 as a Yankee that is) means absolutely nothing. The Yankees have historically been a buy and sell team, even when it comes to superstars. Jeter is just the one guy who the Steinbrenner's never felt like trading, so he had his 1st and his 3,000th hit as a Yankee. Too bad, it would have been way cooler had he had all 3,000 hits as a Cincinnati Red.
U.S. Women's soccer beats Brazil in the World Cup Quarterfinals. I saved this for last because I thought it was the coolest, most dramatic, and possibly, most important sporting event of the weekend. I realize that some may be surprised by that, given that baseball and golf are my passions, but, I watched this game from start to finish, and it was breathtaking. The U.S. jumped out to a 1-0 lead on an own goal by a Brazilian chick who's name I can't pronounce or spell. Then the U.S. got screwed royally. A penalty kick save by Hope Solo was nullified, and the second chance was all Marta (the best women's soccer player in the world) needed. She buried the PK to tie the score at 1-1. She then had a goal that I'm still not sure how it went in (and I'm still not sure how the lineswoman missed the offsides on the play) to put Brazil up 2-1. In the 122nd minute (the game only lasted that long because of a Brazilian player obviously faking an injury) the U.S. women pulled this off:
If you don't have chills, you aren't alive. Go see a doctor. This was one of the greatest games I have seen in any sport, at any time, any place, period. This game had everything: the ups (U.S. taking an early lead), the downs (U.S. falling behind 2-1), the villains (Marta, the Australian referee), and the heroes (Rapinoe, Wambach). In a game, men's or women's, that is what is needed for a game to be great, and this one was just that. However, I'm not completely sold on this being one of the most dramatic moments in sports history. Let's save those for Super Bowls, World Series, and NBA Finals. Let us take a step back and remember, this is still women's soccer, and in the U.S., it doesn't matter much. The only reason we (we being those of us who don't particularly care for soccer in the first place, and, for the record, I am not one of these people) cared about this game in the first place is because these women are wearing USA across their chests. Take away that, and you have another game that no one really cares about. This game happened on the biggest stage in women's soccer (not sure how big that really is), it involved the U.S., and it happened in front of the world, and that is why we care. The game of women's soccer will grow because of this, but that won't make people in the States care about it anymore than they do now. That is, until the World Cup of 2015 comes around, the ladies put on their USA jerseys again, and we cheer for our country once again. I'd cheer for a women's cricket team if they had USA on their shirts. Oh yeah, Hope Solo is hot.
Issue: Why are Cincinnati Reds' fans such fair-weather fans?
Short Answer: It's always been that way...
Reasoning: I have been hearing a lot of talk lately about how bad the Cincinnati Reds are. And, well, it is really pissing me off. There has been talk of sending players down, calling players up, bad managing (which I actually agree with), lifeless play, and typical moaning and groaning from Reds fans. It all adds up to a city with a bad attitude...and it's not even football season! I have been wondering all summer how a city with only two professional teams, who have both historically stunk, can be as greedy as they are. Our football team has never won a Super Bowl (although, at least we have been twice) and our baseball team has made the playoffs twice since 1995 (and that includes last year's division championship). Where do our fans get off? We are doing our best impression of Atlanta Braves fans, but, at least they have a history of being, you know, good at baseball. We are Cincinnatians. We stink at pro sports. Deal with it.
I read a blog post from Lance McAlister (a Cincinnati radio personality, for those of you from outside the Queen City) that said in part (and this is the prevailing attitude of Cincinnatians, unfortunately):
This team has no life. There is no sense of urgency. They have been flat and uninspired much of the season...That philosophy [of not adding free agents in the offseason] turned out to be wrong. The problem is that 87 games into the season [GM] Walt [Jocketty] has yet to admit that and fix it...That's the theme of 2011 for this team...nobody is worried...This team plays like it is sleeping. They play without focus. Nothing is done...The mood and tone has got to change. The Reds are what they are. 87 games has made it clear. The defending NL Central champs are simply medicore...They are simply not good enough. This team, as currently put together, will not win the NL Central...Who would have thought the Reds play would have fans wondering when the Bengals will start camp? Your move Walt.
SAY WHAT?!?! Allow me to take these one at a time, because I could go on for days:
There is no sense of urgency...nobody is worried. And why should they be????? This is baseball. There are 162 games to be played in a single season. Why should there be a sense of urgency before the All-Star break? Remember, this is not football (where every loss means something), this is baseball (where a loss is a loss is a loss, period). Also, unless you have actually played a 162 game season (I have not, but I have played a few 155 game seasons in the minors) then you have no idea. Playing 162 games in about 175 days is a grind that you cannot imagine. In the minor leagues, everyone prays that they will have a great season, but that they will finish a half game out of the playoffs. That way they won't have to play MORE baseball. I imagine it is different in the Majors, but only because of the financial gain players receive for making the post-season. Trust me when I tell you that not a single person in the Reds' clubhouse is worried about a thing. There is no sense of urgency either. There needn't be any either. The Reds are currently 44-44 and only 3 games out of 1st place. They sit in 4th place, which probably has a lot of Cincinnatian's panties in a bunch. But, all that means is over the next 74 games, the Reds have to win 3 more games than the Cardinals. Whoa, better kick it in gear.
The Reds not adding free agents was the wrong decision. First, I don't know how anyone can say such a thing 87 games into the season. Second, after winning a division championship in 2010, signing big free agents wouldn't have been on the top of my list either. Third, Walt Jocketty has proven he knows what he is doing. Now, hindsight has always proven to be correct. Through 87 games (88 as I write this) the Reds' shortstops and left fielders are absolutely awful. It's easy to sit here and say we should have signed free agents at both positions. Funny thing is, we did at short (Edgar Reneteria) and we did in left (Fred Lewis). Where else should we have spent millions of dollars? Replacing Edinson Volquez? Easy to say now. Fact is, the 2011 Reds were/are set up to repeat as champs of the NL Central. We didn't need to add free agents. We are fine. Let's give it another 50 games or so.
The Reds are simply mediocre. This is asinine at best. Through 88 games the 2010 Reds were 49-39 - a full 5 games better than this year!! Oh no!! What are we going to do?!?! The biggest difference is the 2010 Reds were in 1st place through 88 games, and the 2011 Reds are in 4th place. I have heard Cincinnatians complain that we are behind the Pirates in the standings. Oh no!! What are we going to do?!?! How about this - let's give the Pirates some props. Through 87 games this year, the Pirates are 45-42. Through 87 games last year, the Pirates were 30-57. That, ladies and gentlemen, is a full 15 games better. So, we are behind a team that is playing out of their mind. Oh no!! What are we...alright, you get it.
The Reds' play has people looking forward to football season. A couple things here: 1) People are always looking forward to football season; doesn't matter if the Reds are good or bad; 2) No one ever really looks forward to the Bengals season, especially this year when our quarterback will either be Jordan Palmer (that's right, Carson's much worse, younger brother) or Andy Dalton (rookie); 3) The Reds' play has me looking forward to the second half of the season. The Reds are the defending NL Central Champs, and will be until someone takes it away from them. They are 3 games out of 1st place with 74 games left to go. We waited 15 years between playoff appearances and now we should go every year? To say we are in the hunt is to give credence to the doubters. Not only are we in the hunt, but with the 2010 crown still in our back pocket, how can we not be favorites? Wake up people. The Reds are fine. There is plenty of time. Let's let everything take care of itself, rather than trying to force it. Please.
I did mention earlier that I believe Dusty Baker is a terrible manager. Let me clarify: I know he is a terrible manager. His lineup changes make no sense. His in game managing wouldn't win games at the 14-year old age level. He makes bad decisions all the time. His players consistantly bail him out, which is good, but it makes it so people don't realize he is a bad manager. I'm not sure how Dusty got the Reds job, but, after winning the first division championship in years, something tells me he will be around for awhile. Unfortunately.
I hope to update this post in September and give all Cincinnatians a big I-told-you-so while we are watching them in the playoffs. Again.
