Playoff Hodgpodge

Issue: Any observations from in-and-around the playoffs?

Short Answer: Plenty.

Reasoning: I don't think it is much of a secret around Uncommonly Sports, that I do not particularly like the NBA.  Most of you may not know that I don't particularly like the NHL either, for reasons all too different than my dislike for the NBA.  See, I just can't relate to the NHL.  I have never ice skated (it is a goal of mine in life to die without ever having done so) and my hockey experience is limited to floor hockey during 7th and 8th grade gym class, which, I did dominate, but still didn't enjoy.  Playoff time changes everything though.  I have tuned in to both the NBA and NHL playoffs, and here are some things I have recognized/experienced:

1. Kobe Bryant is whiney b%&ch - I have been able to see quite a bit of the Lakers/Hornets series, because when they play in L.A. the games start at about 3:30 a.m., and I don't usually hit the sack early.  Kobe Bryant is easily one of the top 3 players in the NBA, still.  But, by judging his reactions to whistles, he has never committed a foul in his entire life.  Seriously, every time the whistle blows he looks like a 17-year old boy who's girlfriend just told him that she has been cheating on him (if you have ever seen the movie Hitch, just picture Will Smith's character in his flashback - standing in the rain, crying, saying "Whyyyyyyyy?" when he caught his girlfriend making out with some other dude in a car, and that, is Kobe Bryant when he gets called for a foul).  I have noticed that I have begun to get mad anytime Kobe gets called for a foul, because that means I have to watch him cry/moan/beg.  I want to slap him in the face.
2. Jason Kidd will be the reason the Mavs lose - I watched one of the games that was played in Portland, and Jason Kidd reminded me of myself trying to play point guard.  When I was a sophomore in high school, I was asked to play point guard on the JV basketball team.  To this day I still don't know why.  But, every time I came over half court I was just trying not to turn the ball over.  Jason Kidd looks like he is doing the same thing.  He would cross half court, turn his back to the basket, and begin backing the defender down from 30-feet out.  He is slow and it looked like he realized he was slow and didn't want to look like a fool on national TV.  But I've got J Kidd figured out.  Time to let Jason Terry run the point.
3. The Spurs are old - I'm sure watching the regular season would help me out some here, but, how are the Spurs a #1 seed?  It looks like a collection of octogenarians out there.  Why not bring back David Robinson?  Or George Gervin?  The Spurs may very well come back and win the series, but I don't believe they have enough energy (unless they start taking Centrum Silver vitamins) to make it all the way through the playoffs.  I'd actually like to see Memphis win the series so some of the Spurs might retire.  And join AARP.
4. Hockey players are unreal - I don't understand how they do the things they do (other than years and years of practice).  The game moves so fast (too fast to follow on TV, which is why I don't watch much) and the players are in such control of what they are doing (for the most part) it simply amazes me.  The skill of the players, and that skill alone, is what has drawn me into watching playoff hockey.  If, you know, it isn't televised at the same time as an NBA playoff game.
5. Tip: know where/how to find obscure DirecTV channels - Late last night (around 1 a.m., so, technically I guess it was early this morning) I was watching the Lakers polish off the Hornets to take a 3-2 lead in the series.  At the same time, I was following the Vancouver/Chicago game 7 (Vancouver is the #1 seed, Chicago is the defending Stanley Cup champions) on my stat tracker (I had picked Vancouver in the Streak for the Cash on espn.com) and had realized they had gone into overtime tied 1-1.  I grabbed my remote (because Kobe was whining again) and went to the "Guide."  I knew the hockey game was on the Versus Channel, but, I honestly had zero clue where that channel was on the list.  How many times have I watched Versus?  Last time was probably the NHL playoffs, last year.  I did a quick scan and didn't find it.  So, I went back to the "Guide" and selected "Sports Channels" hoping it would show up in there.  I didn't find it.  Finally, I took a deep breath and did some thinking.  I thought I remembered Versus was in the 600's somewhere.  After hitting "Page Down" a few times, there it was!  Thankfully I got there in time to see the end of the game.  Or so I thought.  As I clicked on the channel I heard the horn going off and the crowd going crazy.  The Canucks had capitalized on a turnover in Chicago's zone and scored the series clinching goal in overtime.  All while I was trying to find the damn channel.  Unreal.

I'm sure I will do this again next week.  Hopefully I will be writing about the Lakers getting swept and Kobe getting smacked in the face by a ref who had had enough.

On a side note, check me out at http://www.examiner.com/mlb-in-cincinnati as I am the new Cincinnati Reds Examiner!  I will be covering Reds news throughout the year (oh, and I get paid based on how many people visit the site, so, don't be afraid to tell every single person you know.  And tell them to tell a few people too.) with news, game recaps, and possibly some interviews too.  That is, if they decide to let me in the clubhouse.  Which I doubt.