Opening Day

Issue: Wasn't that a week ago?

Short Answer: For baseball, yes.

Reasoning: Major League Baseball opening day is supposed to signify the beginning of Spring.  Recently, however, most opening days have been played in arctic-like temperatures.  Hell, the Cincinnati Reds played their opening day in HIGH temperatures of 44 degrees.  I realize Cincinnati has a storied history (we were the first ever professional baseball team), and playing a game on opening day in Cincinnati is a long standing tradition (although it has been quite a few years since we have played the actual first game in baseball - something I contribute to us sucking for so long).  But seriously, wouldn't it make more sense for the Reds to open up in San Diego or Atlanta or Houston or Florida?  Actually, it wouldn't make more sense, it would make too much sense.  Anyway, my point is, baseball opening day does not signify the beginning of Spring anymore.  Today, the beginning of the second week of April, signifies the beginning of Spring (or, at least the end of winter).

Not only does the second week of April mean the beginning of Spring (I realize that Spring really began on March 20 - bear with me), but it also caps off one of the best stretches of sport, anywhere, anytime.  Baseball opening day was March 31, followed by the Final Four matchups on April 2, then the national championship game April 4, followed by today, April 7, the beginning of the Masters.  I mean, if only the Super Bowl and the World Series were next week, right?  Augusta National Golf Course is the Mecca for all golfers.  People I know that love the game of golf, talk about their trips to Augusta (mostly for practice rounds Monday, Tuesday, and/or Wednesday - but some for the weekend too) talk about them with a tear of joy in their eye.  They have been to a place most people can only talk about going, or hope to go "some day" (just imagine a 5 year old kid at the bus stop who just got back from Disney World and that is how someone who just got back from Augusta National is treated - with reverence).  I was once asked what I would give, literally, not hypothetically, to play one round of golf on Augusta National.  My first answer was my car, which, at that time, was a 1997 Mitsubishi Montero Sport.  It was probably a $20,000-$25,000 SUV.  The problem then arose - how would I get there?  So I can't give up my car, because Augusta was two hours by car from Atlanta, so, walking, with my golf clubs, would probably take a couple of days.  The answer was then clear - I would have to give a testicle (you can still conceive a child with only one, right?).  See, I didn't have anything else worth anything.  Lungs and kidneys are fairly vital organs.  Testicles are too, but, I would literally give my left (or right) nut to play Augusta National.  I'm not kidding.  Ask anyone who really knows me.  Too bad no one at Augusta really wants my testicle anyway.

I write all of this to implore those of you out there that don't play or watch golf, to tune into the Masters.  In my opinion, Augusta is the most beautiful place on earth, and, they happen to play one of the most important golf tournaments on it every year.  If you haven't watched the Masters in high definition, you haven't seen the most breathtaking scenery you may ever see.  You want to know how much I love watching the Masters?  I went and bought a blank VHS tape last night so I can tape the coverage.  Let me answer all the questions I know you are asking right now:

1. I have baseball games to coach, so I can't watch it live;
2. It is actually a DVD/VCR combo;
3. I only own one VHS - Mallrats - "That kid, is BACK on the escalator!";
4. I do not have DVR - and I'm not sure why;

If you have any other questions, just tune in and watch the best golfers in the world play the best golf course in the world.  I know I will.  Once my tape rewinds.