Parity at its Finest

Issue: Didn't you already use that title once?

Short Answer: Sort of.  For this hilarious video post.  But, this is "parity," not "parody."

Reasoning: My old high school teammate Tim wrote on my Facebook page about an article from the Wall Street Journal about the craziness going on in the sports world, and, especially the state of California.  I went in search of the column but quickly realized I am not a member of the WSJ online, and have no desire to be one ("disposable income" is not in my lexicon these days).  So, I am going to just go off what Tim said was in the article, the crux of which is the state of parity in athletics - California being the microcosm of said parity.  I'm not sure words can describe how much I love parity, but you know I'm going to try.

The NBA sucks.  I hate it, and I don't watch it.  Usually, it is 8 guys standing around watching two guys play one-on-one.  I'd rather watch college basketball, where guys dive on the floor and attack the rim, for pure love of the game (or because they are attempting to impress NBA scouts - either way, I don't care, the passion of the college game makes it better).  However, our parody-in-sports journey begins with the NBA.  The L.A. Lakers are one of the few west coast teams (in any sport) that seem to escape the east coast "media bias."  People love the Lakers, and always have - not just in Los Angeles.  The L.A. Clippers have always been the red-headed stepchild of the Lakers.  They are never good, and, in fact, are usually the laughingstock of the league (kind of like the Bengals in the NFL - this is why I don't feel sorry for Clippers fans).  But, this year, Los Angeles has been introduced to an ex-Oklahoma Sooner named Blake Griffin.  Folks, if you haven't seen this guy, then you don't watch any highlight shows.  His dunks are of legend.  He is the brightest superstar the entire league has right now (everyone hates LeBron; people are tired of Carmelo; and Kobe is just as whiny as he's always been), and he is an L.A. Clipper.  Strange.

But it gets even more strange.  California has never had a slew of great college football teams.  However, the University of Southern California, over the last 10 years, has been a constant in the top-10 rankings.  They have competed for, and won, National Championships and Heisman Trophies (Carson Palmer anyone?  Ha!).  But, who would have thought the best college football team in California (and one of the best in the country) last year would be the Stanford Cardinal?  Have you ever met anyone from Stanford?  I have.  I played collegiate summer baseball with quite a few kids from there.  And, the only thing I remember about each and every one of them is how socially awkward they were.  Most didn't talk.  When they did, nothing but nonsense came spewing forth.  Myself and the rest of my teammates chalked it up to them being too smart for their own good.  You know, trying to dumb everything down for the idiots on the team (although Andrew Luck doesn't seem to be that smart).  Anyway, my point is, how can such socially awkward, smart-as-can-be, non-athletic kids make up the best college football team in California?  My guess is Jim Harbaugh.  This one may not last long.

Finally, we get to college basketball.  The UCLA program is the best ever.  USC is usually not bad.  Stanford is hit or miss (socially awkward kids aren't usually good at basketball either).  So, who is leading the way this year?  San Diego State and St. Mary's.  Huh?  The best thing to ever come out of San Diego State is Marshall Faulk (not a basketball player) and the best thing to come out of St. Mary's is a bunch of people with degrees (although my former minor league teammate Mark Teahen went to St. Mary's - best I can do).  At the time this post went to press San Diego State was 27-1 and #4 in the coaches poll (for those of you who don't believe coaching matters - Steve Fisher anyone?); St. Mary's was 22-6, coming off two straight losses (one to lowly San Diego University - I hope they were without their best players for some reason).  UCLA is not great.  USC is not good.  Stanford is turrrrible.  It's nice to see some of the little guys get their comeuppance.  And, it's nice to see some of the big guys take a fall.  I love parity in all sports - it makes it more fun to watch (which is all I do anyway).

I'm going to Las Vegas and putting all my money on the Padres to win the World Series.  Alright, maybe not.