Spitgate

Issue: The currently-most-famous-loogey was spat by...?

Short Answer: Tiger Woods.

Reasoning: This weekend, while most of the PGA Tour was competing in the AT&T Pebble Beach Pro-Am, Tiger Woods was in Dubai, playing in the European Tour's Dubai Desert Classic.  Tiger shot 66 on Friday to move into contention, and was inevitably one shot back heading into Sunday.  He fired a final round 75, and, needless to say, didn't win.  But, on this Monday, the story wasn't about his choke-job on Sunday, but rather about a loogey he spat on the 12th green after making a feeble attempt at birdie.  I find it laughable that the story here is about some spit, but, unfortunately, the European Tour made it the issue.  See, the European Tour reprimanded and fined (an undisclosed amount) Tiger for his actions.  And this has been reported on every media outlet (re: ESPN) all throughout the day (literally, on ESPN).  Since spitgate became national news, Tiger took to Twitter to apologize: "The Euro Tour is right – it was inconsiderate to spit like that and I know better. Just wasn’t thinking and want to say I’m sorry."  (No citation needed - I was watching ESPN most of the day.)

First, let me say, this is completely ridiculous.  Everyone who agrees with the fine does so because they say it is "disgusting" and "rude" because other players may come along and put their ball down right in his spit.  Really?  First of all, what are the chances of that?  A zillion to one?  Probably more.  Second, what are the chances the spit is still in a huge puddle on the green and hasn't soaked into the ground?  You know, because the ground tends to soak up water and all.  And, even if someone's ball did roll through the spit, and then that person touched it, at least it's Tiger Woods' spit and not someone like Sergio Garcia's (nothing against Spanish people or anything, he just strikes me as an ass) spit.  Tiger Woods' actions did not warrant a fine, nor did they warrant national attention.  He was outside, on a golf course, which, in my eyes, is open ground for spitting.  Whenever and wherever.

However (three out of four straight words with the word "ever" in them!), I cannot fully condone Tiger's actions, because I am what they like to call a "golf purist."  I believe there is no place for a temper in golf; that players should take care of the course they play on so those that come after them can enjoy the same course they did; that players should be considerate of those playing around them; and that golf carts are an example of how technology has made the game worse (along with equipment, balls, and everything else in golf these days - although I must admit, it is more interesting to watch a 330 yard drive than it is to watch a 270 yard drive.  Trust me on this one.).  Tiger broke most of these rules.  I play golf all the time and I played baseball all my life.  Trust me when I tell you that I engage in the act of spitting on an occasion or two (million).  I don't ever spit on the green, not because I'm worried about a player behind me putting his (or her) ball in it, but because I respect the course too much to do so.  A golfer's only opponent is the course he (or she) is playing on, so Tiger, by spitting on the green, basically spit on his opponent, because his opponent was beating him.  And beating him badly.  It was a classless move at a time when he was clearly frustrated.  But, after the negative attention it has brought him, I'm betting he never does it again.

And, I'm still rooting for him to win again and do what I said here.