Mock Drafts

Issue: Can you do an NFL mock draft?

Short Answer: Hell no.

Reasoning: Mock drafts are just another reason that I can't stand ESPN.  I was watching SportsCenter this afternoon and watched ESPN waste a good portion of the show going over Mel Kiper, Jr.'s (who most people despise, but I actually like - Todd McShay is still a d-bag though) mock draft.  That's right, ESPN is doing mock drafts before the season is even over!  Picks 29-32 have yet to be decided (although Kiper had the Steelers picking at 32, so it is obvious who he has his money on to win the Super Bowl), and ESPN is telling us who each team is going to draft at the end of April.  Dumb.  ESPN is the new MTV.  What do I mean by that?  Well, remember way back when MTV used to play music videos?  I do (I hope I'm not dating myself).  I also remember when ESPN used to play sports highlights.  Now, all ESPN does is tell me who is going to draft who in 4 months, who is going to win each game before it's played, and tell general managers how to do their jobs.  Dumb.

So, why do I hate mock drafts so much?  Because they are always wrong.  And they mean nothing.  And Todd McShay is a d-bag (did I already say that?).  Let's check out the mock drafts of Kiper*, McShay*, and what really happened last year**:

          Kiper/McShay/Actual Pick

1. Sam Bradford/Sam Bradford/Sam Bradford
2. Ndamukong Suh/Ndamukong Suh/Ndamukong Suh
3. Gerald McCoy/Gerald McCoy/Gerald McCoy
4. Russell Okung/Russell Okung/Trent Williams
5. Eric Berry/Bryan Bulaga/Eric Berry
6. Trent Williams/Eric Berry/Russell Okung
7. Dez Bryant/Dan Williams/Joe Haden
8. Jimmy Clausen/Trent Williams/Rolando McClain
9. Bryan Bulaga/Anthony Davis/C.J. Spiller
10. C.J. Spiller/Earl Thomas/Tyson Alualu
11. Earl Thomas/Rolando McClain/Anthony Davis
12. Dan Williams/Derrick Morgan/Ryan Matthews
13. Joe Haden/Sergio Kindle/Brandon Graham
14. Derrick Morgan/C.J. Spiller/Earl Thomas
15. Rolando McClain/Mike Iupati/Jason Pierre-Paul
16. Jason Pierre-Paul/Jason Pierre-Paul/Derrick Morgan
17. Anthony Davis/Jimmy Clausen/Mike Iupati
18. Maurkice Pouncey/Maurkice Pouncey/Maurkice Pouncey
19. Brandon Graham/Brandon Graham/Sean Witherspoon
20. Kyle Wilson/Joe Haden/Kareem Jackson
21. Jermaine Gresham/Dez Bryant/Jermaine Gresham
22. Sergio Kindle/Everson Griffen/Demaryius Thomas
23. Mike Iupati/Charles Brown/Bryan Bulaga
24. Kareem Jackson/Kyle Wilson/Dez Bryant
25. Damaryius Thomas/Damaryius Thomas/Tim Tebow
26. Sean Witherspoon/Jermaine Gresham/Dan Williams
27. Charles Brown/Taylor Mays/Devin McCourty
28. Ryan Matthews/Terrence Cody/Jared Odrick
29. Everson Griffen/Jared Odrick/Kyle Wilson
30. Taylor Mays/Kareem Jackson/Jahvid Best
31. Jared Odrick/Jerry Hughes/Jerry Hughes
32. Jerry Hughes/Sean Witherspoon/Patrick Robinson

So, let's recap: Kiper correctly picked (guessed?) six draft choices correctly, out of 32 (18.75%), and McShay correctly picked (blind squirrel finds a nut) five draft choices correctly, out of 32 (15.625%).  Let us not forget that each of them had the top 3 picks correct (and who didn't?).  So, out of the next 29 picks, Kiper got three and McShay got two correct.  Are we seeing why this is so dumb yet?  Plus, Kiper and McShay can never correctly contemplate which teams will make trades on draft day (it happens quite a bit every year), which makes mock drafts even that much more stupid.  However, it does make for entertaining television when Kiper (who clearly views McShay as moving in on his territory) and McShay argue over how stupid the other person is because of where they have a player going in their mock draft.  Hey, idiots, neither of you are right, so stop making yourselves look even more stupid.

It's ESPN's money, so they can pay these guys if they want.  Who am I to say different?  But, things like mock drafts and predicting the winners of games only leave those that do it out there on a limb to be laughed at (did you see how many of the 7 people picking games on ESPN Countdown picked the Jets last week - zero).  I wish I could take over ESPN - I would get rid of all the talking heads, and go back to showing sports highlights.  Too bad.  Looks like we will have Kiper and McDouche on our screens for the next four months.

*Taken from this website, via ESPN.com

**Thanks to NFL.com.