NFL Playoff Outlook

Issue: You failed miserably at that "writing more posts in December" thing, didn't you?

Short Answer: Yes I did.

Reasoning: The holidays are a busy time.  And, when I'm not busy over the holidays, I am very lazy.  Hence the fact that I haven't written a post in over 2 weeks.  I always get ideas, and I even write them down, but then time passes, and I miss my window to write about current events.  No one wants to read a post about an event that happened weeks ago, right?  Plus, blogging (for free, remember) is so easy to put off, and put off, and put off.  Plus, I only have 50+ readers, so there isn't a lot of clamoring going on: "Hey, why hasn't Jason posted on his blog in a while??  I'm really missing reading his posts."  But, I do miss writing sometimes, so, you will have to continue reading...every few weeks or so.

In this post, I will write about, and predict the future of the NFL Playoffs.  How am I qualified to do so?  Well, I'm not, but if an assbag like Chris Berman can do it, then I figure I can too.  But, I will say this: I watch the NFL every weekend, and not just the games on TV.  I follow every game because I am addicted to fantasy football, which also means I am reading about the NFL the other 6 days of the week.  I also won 2 of the 3 fantasy football leagues I was in this year (yes, that is just a shameless plug for me being the best fantasy player on the planet), so, I'm pretty good at this stuff.  Anyway, without further ado, my opinion on the NFL Playoffs:

THE NON-CONTENDERS

• DENVER BRONCOS - Not only do they have to play Pittsburgh in the first round, their quarterback sucks, terribly.  Tim Tebow finds a way to will his team to victory sometimes, but he has no idea how to lead his team to victory the way he should, by playing quarterback.  I wrote about him earlier, and I refuse to bash him like others do, but, alas, he blows.  The Broncos will get embarrassed in round 1.
• ATLANTA FALCONS - Wait, they made the playoffs?  Don't they suck?  Yes, they do.  Matt Ryan was the biggest quarterback fantasy bust of the year (except for when I played him in the first round of the playoffs, and he threw for 4 touchdowns), and Michael Turner wasn't his usual self.  Roddy White and Julio Jones are studs, but the Falcons are just an average team with no chance at a Super Bowl.
• DETROIT LIONS - It's nice to see the Lions back in the playoffs, and it was nice of Matt Stafford to single-handedly win me one of my fantasy leagues.  However, the Lions defense couldn't stop my high school's offense right now, and, by the way, they play the Saints in the first round.  At least the Lions will get to start playing golf next week.
• HOUSTON TEXANS - Not only do they start a rookie QB, but he started the year as a third-string rookie QB, BEHIND Matt Leinart.  Ouch.  They did sign Jake Delhomme off of his couch, and he played well Sunday, but, in the end, the Texans just don't have the punch to beat the top teams.
• CINCINNATI BENGALS - This pains me to write, but it's unfortunately true.  As good as Andy Dalton has been this year, a rookie QB just can't take a team like this to the Super Bowl.  I do think we beat the Texans in the first round, but we don't have the offensive power to score with the Patriots, nor the defensive power to stop them.  I can tell you this though - the Bengals are contenders for the next decade.  There are a lot of good young players on this team, and they will only get better.  Who Dey!

THE TWEENERS

• NEW YORK GIANTS - They have the whole package: a good running game, great receivers, a good quarterback, and a decent defense (they put a lot of pressure on the quarterback).  Remember, they did beat the 18-0 Patriots a few years ago when no one expected them to do anything.  As long as Eli doesn't panic in the pocket and turn the ball over (doubtful at this point), they have a chance to surprise some people.  Remember too that, besides the AFC North, the NFC East is the toughest division in the NFL.  Winning that division is no small feat.  The Giants should be ready to go.  And they get to play the Falcons in the first round.  Might as well have a bye.
• SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS - For two reasons: defense and Jim Harbaugh.  The Niners defense is tough.  Patrick Willis is probably the best linebacker in the NFL.  Jim Harbaugh has Alex Smith believing he is a good quarterback (what can I say, the man is a miracle worker).  I promise you this, no one wants to play this team.  I don't think they can win the Super Bowl, but, at the beginning of the year, no one thought they would even make the playoffs.  Watch out for these guys.
• PITTSBURGH STEELERS - Usually the Steelers would be in the "Contenders" category, but not this year.  Rashard Mendenhall is out.  Ben Roethlisberger is gimpy (and fat and ugly).  The defense is beat up, and James Harrison will probably kill someone soon.  They do get a warm-up game in the first round against the Broncos, which will lead to a game with the Ravens or Patriots, both of whom I think beat the Steelers.  I could be wrong, but I just can't get myself to write about the Steelers as a contender.  I don't want to throw up on my keyboard.

THE CONTENDERS

• NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS - Never has a team with a defense so bad, contended for a Super Bowl.  But, these Patriots can.  Heck, they are the #1 seed in the AFC, so, apparently they are doing something right.  Tom Brady and his offensive weapons (re: Rob Gronkowski, Aaron Hernandez, and Wes Welker) can beat anyone at anytime.  That is, if their defense doesn't give up 100.  I am rooting for them to lose, and lose early (Bengals in round 2????), but it wouldn't surprise me to see them lifting the Vince Lombardi Trophy, once again.
• BALTIMORE RAVENS - Their defense is getting old, but is still the strong suit of their team, and, defense wins championships.  Ray Rice is a great weapon to have, especially when your quarterback pretty much stinks.  I hate the Ravens more than I hate the Steelers, so that is all I am writing.  If they win the Super Bowl I will be pissed.  Really pissed.
• GREEN BAY PACKERS - Duh.  This team is unreal.  Aaron Rogers is already one of the best quarterbacks ever.  I love watching him play.  Their running game isn't great, but, really?  They have Aaron Rogers.  Their receivers are great.  Their defense gives up yards but not points.  The Packers are the team to beat, but, the fact that I still have one team left, means I don't think they win the Super Bowl.  In fact, they may not even get there, because...

THE WINNER

• NEW ORLEANS SAINTS - This team is ridiculous.  Drew Brees is just as good as Aaron Rogers.  Defenses cannot stop the Saints.  Plus, they are a hot team right now.  They are riding high after breaking 6 million NFL records this year.  And, teams that have a first round bye don't do historically well.  The Saints playing in the first round will allow them to stay sharp - perhaps sharper than any of the other teams.  Drew Brees and the Saints will earn their second ring this year, and it will be fun to watch.

There you have it folks!  I have predicted it for you, so there is one thing I can guarantee - it will happen exactly the opposite of the way I said.  That is just the way it goes.  Enjoy the playoffs!!  Who Dey!!

It's Tebow Time...

Issue: You come up with that title yourself?

Short Answer: It's actually meant to be sung, to the tune of the Flight of the Concords "It's Business Time".

Reasoning: If you don't know who Tim Tebow is, then what are you doing reading a sports blog?  Go do something else, now.  It's funny, because when I watch ESPN (begrudgingly) they ramble on about how Tim Tebow is the talk of the country.  Everyone is talking about him, they say.  Well, this is true, but it doesn't help that you guys (ESPN) dedicate at least half of every SportsCenter to Tim Tebow.  But, since ESPN has forced Tim Tebow down our throats, I guess it is time for me to chime in.  So, against my better judgment, here goes.

Tim Tebow is one of the most polarizing athletes of our time, or any time.  Chuck Klosterman wrote this fantastic article on grantland.com, about that exact point.  Instead of reiterating his points, I am going to give you my own.  First, I don't like Tim Tebow.  It all started in 2008, when he was in college and the Florida Gators lost a home game.  He stepped up to the podium in the press conference afterwards and gave what some people consider a great speech:

"To the fans and everybody in Gator Nation, I'm sorry.  I'm extremely sorry.  We were hoping for an undefeated season.  That was my goal, something that Florida has never done here.  I promise you one thing, a lot of good will come out of this.  You will never see any player in the entire country play as hard as I will play the rest of the season.  You will never see someone push the rest of the team as hard as I will push everybody the rest of the season.  You will never see a team play harder than we will the rest of the season.  God Bless."

Where to start?  1) This speech should have been given in the locker room, not in a press conference; 2) The speech sucks, it is not motivational - only ESPN said it was great; 3) Players should play hard and push each other in EVERY game, not just after an upset loss at home; 4) Florida immortalized this speech in a plaque outside their athletic association, which I think is beyond ridiculous; 5) If one of my teammates ever gave this speech, I would probably kick his ass - it's cheesy.  One of the other main reasons I don't like Tim Tebow is because he played for the Florida Gators, and, I hate the Florida Gators.  I also don't like his outward displays of faith.  NO, I DON'T THINK IT'S WRONG.  I just think, like people don't go to church to hear about blitzes and Cover 2 defenses, people don't go to football games to hear about God.  Plus, let's say for a quick second that you were God, and could do anything you wanted, would you really watch the Broncos game?  As faithful as Tim Tebow has been, I guess it's not out of the question (this was all meant to be very facetious, just so you know).

Second, I don't dislike Tim Tebow.  What's to dislike?  He is an obviously phenomenal person.  You can hear it in the way he talks.  He is genuine and engaging.  He is always smiling.  Plus, he is a winner.  He won at Florida and now he is winning in Denver.  Sure, it may not always look pretty, but isn't the game about having more wins than losses?  As they say in baseball "there are no pictures in the score book" or in golf "there are no pictures on the scorecard".  Well, at the end of a game, only the talking heads at ESPN are going to tell us what the game looked like, but, last time I checked, it didn't matter.  If Tim Tebow was 7-1 as a starter while wearing a Cincinnati Bengals uniform, I know I would love it, no matter how it looked.  A great human being who also wins football games...what's not to like?

Here is the way I really feel about Tim Tebow - I am completely indifferent.  I'm a football guy, period.  I love to watch the NFL because they are the best football players on the planet.  Think Aaron Rogers, Drew Brees, Tom Brady.  Somehow, I can't fit Tim Tebow in there, no matter what his record is.  Watching him play quarterback is like watching someone puke all over themselves.  It's gross.  Before you start saying "but he wins football games!" just see above.  I already said that.  That doesn't make it any easier to watch.  If the Broncos are playing on TV, I'm hoping there is another game on I can watch, that has a quarterback, not a fullback playing quarterback.  But, in full disclosure, I will turn the Broncos game back on with 5 minutes left, because that is when the will of Tebow starts to take over.  It doesn't make sense, I don't think it will last forever, but it has been fun to see so far.  I don't go around reading about Tim Tebow, watching Tim Tebow highlights (I use that word very cautiously when associating it with Tebow), or seeking out all things Tebow.  I honestly don't care.  And, judging by how much press he is getting, I may be the only one.

Unsportsmanlike Conduct?

Issue: Are you talking about the influx of penalties in the NFL?

Short Answer: I wish.

Reasoning: There is nothing more I hate than unsportsmanlike conduct penalties in the NFL, especially when it deals with celebrating.  The penalty can cost teams field position, points, and sometimes, games.  All this, because players want to make sure everyone out there knows it was ME, ME, ME that made that play.  I hate celebrations so much that I wish referees would flag players when they jump up and give the "first down" sign.  Hey, buddy, I watch football all the time, if you cross that imaginary line, I know it's a first down, I don't you need to tell me so.  Flag.  15 yards for being stupid.  Thanks.

Just two weeks ago in the Buffalo Bills Stevie Johnson caught a go-ahead touchdown against the New York Jets.  But, instead of being genuinely excited, he wanted to make sure everyone knew it was he who caught that touchdown.  So, he feigned shooting himself in the leg, a rather distasteful dig at Plaxico Burress.  Distasteful, but still, kind of funny.  But, Stevie wasn't done.  He then turned himself into an airplane, which flew a bit, and then crashed into the ground.  Maybe Stevie Johnson was absent the day they taught the rules at Buffalo Bills camp, but going to the ground in celebration is an automatic 15-yard penalty.  That meant the Bills had to kick off from the 20-yard line, which gave the Jets a short field.  Guess what?  The Jets drove, scored, and won.  Afterward, Johnson told reporters that he cost his team a chance to win.  Duh.  And it had nothing to do with a fumble or a dropped pass (although he did drop a potential game winner in the waning seconds of the game), it had to do with a selfish act that was blatantly against the rules.  Idiot.

I bring this up because, unless a player goes to the ground, there is some discretion involved in calling unsportsmanlike penalties.  There is a difference between "unsportsmanlike" and "raw human emotion".  Scoring a touchdown is an exciting moment, and when a player genuinely celebrates scoring, I have no problem with it at all.  When the Packers score and the players do the "Lambeau Leap", I love it.  That is true excitement for all, and it doesn't show-up the other team.  Occasionally the NFL gets the calls wrong, but they generally do a fantastic job at policing celebrations.  I can't say the same for Massachusetts high school football referees.  Wait.  What?  Massachusetts high school football has been more diligent in removing celebrations from their game.  They have a sportsmanship rule "that prohibits players from celebratory or taunting behavior while scoring a touchdown."  Fair enough.  I love it, in fact.  However, there has to be a line drawn somewhere.  You cannot expect a high school kid, who is breaking free to the end zone, in a state championship game, to not be excited about it.

Here is the scenario: Cathedral High School was trailing Blue Hills Regional Technical School 16-14 late in the fourth quarter of the Massachusetts 4A High School state championship game.  Cathedral quarterback Matthew Owens ran an option-keeper, which he broke for 56 yards and a touchdown.  He knew he was about to win a state championship, as he knew no one could catch him.  He raised his arm in celebration on the way into the end zone.  True, human emotion.  A ref threw a flag.  He invoked the "no celebration" rule, negated the touchdown, and, Cathedral ended up losing the game.  Cathedral's athletic director James Lynch summed it up perfectly: "I just give people the analogy: imagine a basketball player making a clutch three-pointer right at the end of the game, and he turns around and he just kind of shakes his fist in the air kind of thing...[a]nd it was simply just that and it was nothing else … I don’t think it was anything further than just excitement on the player’s behalf."  But, is there anyway we can make a decision about the egregiousness of the call without actually seeing it?  I'm glad you asked.  Cue the video!

One of the worst calls I have ever seen in my life, on one of the biggest stages.  This cost the team a state championship.  It will be almost impossible to overturn.  You can't now take away the championship from Blue Hills.  But, I would love to hear, from someone in a position of power in Massachusetts high school sports, that this was the wrong call, or at least a misinterpretation of the rule.  To top it all off, it seems as if the athletic director from Blue Hills, Ed Catabia, is a complete d-bag. When asked about the flag being thrown, Catabia responded that it was "a great call, the right call."  No.  It wasn't.  The fact that the call benefited your school with a cheap, tarnished state championship, doesn't make it the right call.  Dick.

Isle of Man

Issue: Where the heck is that?

Short Answer: Wikipedia tells me it "is a self-governing British Crown Dependency, located in the Irish Sea between the islands of Great Britain and Ireland, within the British Isles."

Reasoning: Before I get to the Isle of Man, and its purpose in a sports blog, let me apologize, to the three of you who read this, for being a deadbeat blogger.  I have been busy lately, and when that happens, the sports blog suffers first.  How bad have I been?  Check out the total number of posts in 2011:

• January - 18
• February - 14
• March - 10
• April - 9
• May - 9
• June - 5 (I'm sensing a trend here...)
• July - 4
• August - 4
• September - 3
• October - 5 (This is what statisticians call an "outlier")
• November - 3

So, I am here on December 1st, not with a great sports story, or my take on a controversy, but a post to attempt to up my numbers (and readers, but let's be honest...).  So, without further ado, I give you the Isle of Man Motorcycle race.  Huh?  I go back to Wikipedia, which tells us "[t]he International Isle of Man TT (Tourist Trophy) Race is a motorcycle racing event held on the Isle of Man and was for many years the most prestigious motorcycle race in the world...[t]he race is run in a time-trial format on public roads closed for racing by the provisions of an Act of Tynwald (the parliament of the Isle of Man)."  Sounds fairly benign, right?  Let us continue.  The course which this race is run on is called the Snaefell Mountain Course.  This course starts "at the town of Douglas on the south-east coast, [then] takes a wide sweep to the west and north to enter the town of Ramsey on the north-east coast and thence return to the starting point, each lap measuring 37 3/4 miles and taking in over 200 bends while climbing from sea level to an altitude of over 1,300 ft. This circuit is the epitome of the natural road course, all the roads used being ordinary public highways closed for the racing and practice sessions."  Alright, this is starting to sound a little crazy.  One may ask, since this is a time trial race, what is the record for fastest lap (remember, the course is over 37 miles)?  In 2009, a man named John McGuinness finished a lap in 17 minutes and 12 seconds, which means his average speed was 131.578 miles per hour.  On a motorcycle.  On regular city streets.  Holy.  Crap.

My words don't do this race justice.  A video would.  Just remember as you watch this, that since this race began in 1907, 237 people have died in either practices or races.  These riders have stones the size of Jupiter, but, as for their brains....

Here is the unbelievable video (They show a few crashes, and I am assuming everyone lives or they wouldn't show it in the video.  At least that's what I'm telling myself.  Enjoy.):