College Football Hodgepodge

Issue: You've missed a lot of big stories in College Football over the last couple of days, what gives?

Short Answer: I've been busy, sheesh...

Reasoning: I have actually had two requests for posts over the last couple of days.  One was a serious request (thanks Kristin!), the other was my buddy Dickie asking me to write a post that didn't mention Cincinnati.  There will be nothing about the Queen City in this post (because it's about College Football, and you can see how I feel about Cincinnati's College Football team here), but, I may slip Ohio in here somehow.  I have three different stories I'd like to address, so, forgive me if this becomes the longest post ever.  Without further ado:

ROLL TIDE/WAR EAGLE.  For those of you who think I have pulled a Benedict Arnold and am now rooting for the SEC, well, you're wrong.  "Roll Tide/War Eagle" was the title of the 30 for 30 documentary on ESPN last night.  Every 30 for 30 I have seen has been great, and this one was no different.  The documentary was compelling, interesting, tear-jerking at times, funny, and made extremely well.  The problem I have with the whole thing is the documentary claims Alabama vs. Auburn is the greatest rivalry in College Football.  I scoff.  Hang on, I am still scoffing.  Alabama/Auburn has been the greatest rivalry in College Football for exactly 3 FREAKING YEARS!  See, in order to have a "rivalry" you must have good teams.  Auburn had some good teams when Bo Jackson was there in the early '80's, and they had a good team when Cam Newton was there.  That's it.  In order to have a "rivalry" you must have coaches that add character to the rivalry.  Alabama had Bear Bryant and Gene Stallings.  Auburn had, uh, well, no one.  Tommy Tuberville?  Gene Chizik?  Pat Dye?  Yeah right.  Those of us from the Midwest know that Ohio State vs. Michigan is the greatest rivalry in College Football.  It goes back well over 100 years.  It has been a relevant game to the National Championship picture more times than not.  It had coaches like Woody Hayes, Fielding Yost, Bo Schembechler, and Jim Tressel.  But, not even I would claim that the rivalry is relevant this year.  Ohio State is not good.  Michigan is good, but not great.  The game will be compelling to fans in the Midwest, but not so much to fans outside the heartland.  Alabama vs. Auburn, other than from 2008-2010, hasn't mattered to anyone outside of the state of Alabama since, well, never.  But, in Alabamans defense, not much matters in Alabama anyway.

Number 1 vs. Number 2.  I hate that after I just wrote what I wrote, that I am going to write about Alabama again.  Last Saturday, November 5, the top two teams in the nation took the field to play the biggest game of the year (except to Alabamans, who can't wait for Alabama/Auburn).  Here's what I remember from the game: nothing.  See, my buddy Tore got married on Saturday (this is what we get for letting women pick the date of the wedding...just saying), and I was busy drinking, socializing, and dancing (and by dancing, I mean moving my feet around and trying to not look like an idiot - alcohol helps).  I did sneak off to the hotel bar to watch a bit of the game, but I always felt guilty, and would catch only a few plays.  I heard Alabama missed 14 field goals and ended up losing by 3 (sounds like if 'Bama had a kicker, they would have covered the 5 point spread...that would have been nice).  I only wish both Alabama and LSU could have lost the game.  Watching this game (or the few plays I did watch) was like watching the Ravens and Steelers on Sunday night.  Can we invent a new rule where both teams get a loss?  I don't wish injury on anyone, but could Ben Rapistberger suffer a high ankle sprain?  Or Ray Lewis break a hand?  Or Nick Saban get rolled up on like Sean Payton did a few weeks ago?  I blame my hatred of the SEC on my southern friends who only pretend they like the SEC because it's better than the Big 10 (it is, I can admit that) and can tell me about it all the time.  Unless you actually went to one of the crummy SEC schools, you cannot like them.  It's physically impossible.  What is going to tick me off the most, is when Oklahoma State drops a game and LSU and Alabama end up meeting for the National Championship.  That will be sweet.  A 3-0 final in the National Championship.  Can't wait.  Unless, of course, Nick Saban gets rolled up by a linebacker tackling a tight end.

Penn State/Joe Paterno.  This is a difficult one.  So, I am going to attack it like the lawyer I once wanted to be (what was I thinking?).  Here are the facts:

1. Jerry Sandusky is a sick f&#k.  Period.  End of story.
2. An assistant coach, Mike McQuery, once witnessed Sandusky in the shower with a child in the Penn State locker room.  He did report the incident to his superior, one, Joe Paterno.
3. We don't know what McQuery told Paterno.  Therefore, we have no idea what Paterno knew.  Here are Paterno's own words: "As my grand jury testimony stated [emphasis added], I was informed in 2002 by an assistant coach that he had witnessed an incident in the shower of our locker room facility. It was obvious that the witness was distraught over what he saw, but he at no time related to me the very specific actions contained in the Grand Jury report. Regardless, it was clear that the witness saw something inappropriate involving Mr. Sandusky. As Coach Sandusky was retired from our coaching staff at that time, I referred the matter to university administrators. [emphasis added]"
4. Paterno, reported the incident to his superior, the Athletic Director of Penn State, Tim Curley.
5. Jerry Sandusky is a sick f&#k.

Now, everyone who is anyone, i.e., ESPN, is calling for the head of Joe Paterno.  I can't figure this out.  Yet.  LET ME MAKE THIS CLEAR: if it comes to light that Joe Paterno had anything to do with any part of a cover-up, he should be thrown in jail with Jerry Sandusky.  But, to me at least, it looks like Joe Paterno did something about what he knew (which, we still don't know what he knew).  He reported it up the chain.  Now, the talking heads on ESPN have made it sound like Paterno should have gone immediately to the authorities to report Sandusky.  I'm not saying he shouldn't have, I'm only saying - how do we know?  Paterno was told that a guy, who didn't even work for Penn State football at the time, was acting inappropriately.  Paterno took it upon himself to report it up the chain, and now we are going to call for his head because he didn't go to the authorities?  I'm not sure I can make the connection.

I watch ESPN every day as I work at home.  I have had to listen to ESPN talk about Joe Paterno for the last two days.  Here is my question: why is this story about Joe Paterno and not Jerry Sandusky?  Joe Paterno testified in front of a grand jury that the specifics of that incident in the shower were NOT relayed to him.  He didn't know exactly what happened, and still may not.  So why are we attacking the morals of a man who, in this day in age of cheating in the NCAA, has a squeaky clean image, a squeaky clean record, and a legacy unmatched by any other coach in the history of the NCAA.  Jerry Sandusky is on trial here, because he is a sick f&#k.  Joe Paterno should be on trial if we find out he knew exactly what happened and did nothing about it.  My guess is that he didn't, and that's why he didn't go to authorities.  However, ESPN, with their calls for Joe Paterno's head, has given Penn State a reason to do what they have wanted to do for a long time - get rid of Joe Paterno.  It's sad actually.  Like Penn State or not, Joe Paterno has always been what's right, with a game that is increasingly going bad.

This is a bad situation for all, especially for the victims of these heinous crimes.  Penn State will forever have a black eye because of the actions of one sick f&#k, and Joe Paterno's legacy will be tarnished, no matter what, because of this sick f&#k.  It's a damn shame for everyone involved.